Caliente Page 4

“Indeed,” Dee said as she drew air.

  “Did she meet your expectations?” Jack inquired further.

  “And then some,” Doc said with a slight chuckle.

  Before anything else could be said, Dee reported, “Mr. Rogers was here and saw us.”

  “How did he react?” Jack asked.

  “He said it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I took that as positive,” Doc replied.

  “No doubt,” Jack said as he looked at Dee.

  “We should let Doc and Marilyn enjoy some time together. We need to make our rounds for the evening,” Dee suggested.

  As soon as the couple left the table, Marilyn looked at Doc and said, “He groped me.”

  “A little or a lot?” Doc asked.

  “Does that matter?” Marilyn asked with a tone of disbelief.

  “It depends on whether you liked it or not, I suppose,” Doc replied.

  “He mostly checked for hail damage,” she said.

  “No wonder he was happy,” Doc remarked.

  “He checked to see if the grass had been mowed too,” Marilyn said just above a whisper.

  “Good that it was mowed recently,” Doc said with a laugh.

  “You’re incorrigible,” Marilyn replied sharply.

  “I was trying for that effect,” Doc replied.

  “It’s getting late. We need to say goodbye to Dave McDonald,” she instructed.

  * * *

  As they arrived at the large hot tub and moved to the side when Dave and Diana were located, Dave asked, “So what have you two been up to?”

  Before Marilyn could respond, Doc replied, “Marilyn met with the handy man about hail damage and lawn care.”

  “You’re a horse’s ass,” she replied to Doc.

  “You can throw a pretty good saddle,” Doc responded with a smile.

  “Marilyn, let me introduce you to James Ritz. He’s a charter boat captain. He’s standing by the steps over there,” Dave suggested.

  “He looks interesting,” she replied after taking a long look at the captain.

  “He was a well-respected mechanical engineer. After success with a couple of patents, he left engineering and decided he wanted to be a charter boat owner and captain,” Dave explained further.

  “I like fishing and nautical themes,” Marilyn said.

  “So I’ve heard,” Dave replied.

  “I may try a dip in the spa,” Doc announced.

  “Do you need me to get the lift?” Dave inquired.

  “It only has three steps. Just hold the chair so it doesn’t tip while I transfer,” Doc replied.

  “You don’t have to lose your inhibitions, but I recommend that you lose those clothes or risk the chemicals giving them a fade job,” Dave warned.

  Doc moved his wheelchair at a slight angle to the hot tub stairs, stood up, and grasped the metal rail. He moved to his right and placed his right foot on the top step followed by his left.

  He repeated that procedure twice until he was able to sit on the circular bench inside the hot tub. He seated himself and gave Dave the thumbs up.

  “Wow! That’s some technique that Doc has there,” Dave exclaimed.

  “He has better techniques than that,” Marilyn said as she raised her eyebrows.

  “Doc keep an eye on Diana. I’m going to introduce Marilyn to James and go get a beer,” Dave asked.

  “Not a problem,” Doc said.

  After Dave and Marilyn walked toward the upper deck steps, Diana moved closer to Doc. She hopped into his lap and positioned herself on his left leg.

  “Have you ever had an international flight attendant in your lap?” she asked.

  “Once during turbulence over the Bay of Biscayne but she was fully dressed,” Doc replied with a smile.

  “Well, I’m nekked,” Diana stated.

  “You mean you’re naked – without clothes,” Doc suggested.

  “No, I’m without clothes and I’ve got naughtiness on my mind. I’m nekked,” she responded.

  “I think I see the difference,” Doc said.

  Suddenly, a beautiful blonde in her early forties hopped on Doc’s lap and positioned herself on his right leg. Doc was starting to get a little nervous. Other than Marilyn, he was unaccustomed to having a naked woman in his lap. Tonight, he had two that were drop dead gorgeous.

  “I’m Marlene. How are you doing tonight?” the blonde asked.

  “It seems I have just doubled the pleasure and the fun,” Doc said.

  “That’s my friend Marlene. She was a playmate in the 1998 November issue.

  “I can see why,” Doc stammered.

  “Have you ever had a naked playmate in your lap?” Diana inquired.

  “Not even a clothed one,” Doc replied.

  “Have you ever had a three-way kiss?” Marlene asked.

  “I’m not sure what that is but I’m sure I haven’t,” Doc admitted.

  Both girls leaned toward Doc. Marlene planted a kiss on the right half of his lips and Diana planted a kiss on the left half of his lips.

  When the brief kiss was over, Marilyn was standing in front of the trio. She had her arms crossed. Her face had a penetrating look.

  “I wanted to introduce you to James Ritz. But it appears that you’re busy,” she said with a rather icy stare.

  “Doc, it appears you have your hands full,” James Ritz said with a hearty laugh.

  Nodding to his left, he said, “This is Diana. She’s here with Dave.”

  Nodding to his right, he said, “This is Marlene.”

  Before anything else could be said, Marlene remarked loudly, “I’m here with you, baby!”

  “Not for long, dear,” Marilyn retorted.

  “Who’s that chick, Doc?” Marlene asked.

  “That’s my wife, Marilyn,” Doc said rather sheepishly.

  “Come on, Marlene, let me show you the conversation pool,” James invited diplomatically.

  Marlene stood up, hugged Doc and gave him a big kiss right on the lips. She hopped out of the hot tub and walked toward the upper pool with Captain Ritz.

  Before anything else could be said, Dave appeared with a Pabst Blue Ribbon in his hand and stepped into the hot tub. He saw a little tension but no drama as he approached the three.

  “Everything going OK, Doc?” Dave inquired.

  “He’s the center of attention tonight,” Marilyn remarked.

  “Diana, give Doc a break. Let’s take a dip in the conversation pool and cool down,” Dave recommended.

  As they walked away, Doc felt the proverbial noose tighten around his neck. He was braced for the jolt at the end.

  “I’m waiting on the best explanation you have,” Marilyn stated harshly.

  “Diana is redheaded international flight attendant. Marlene is her friend. She’s a blonde Miss November 1998 Playboy Playmate. I’ve never met a man that wouldn’t let two naked beauties like that park themselves in his lap for ten minutes,” Doc explained.

  “What about the kissing?” Marilyn asked with a significantly calmer tone.

  “I didn’t have the heart to damage her self-esteem,” Doc explained.

  Marilyn grunted and gave a slight nod to Doc.

  “Am I in trouble?” Doc inquired gingerly.

  “No, you’re every man’s hero and every woman’s object of desire tonight. You have seen everyone on the upper deck gawking at your naked ass. I’m not going to play the villain in this soon to be legendary story,” Marilyn responded.

  “What are your plans?” Doc asked with a puzzled look.

  “Get you home and make sure you don’t have those two hot chicks on your mind for long,” Marilyn said with a smile.

  Marilyn retrieved Doc’s wheelchair and locked the wheels. Doc worked his way to the hot tub stairs, grabbed the rail, and worked his way up the steps and to his chair.

  Marilyn took his large Caliente beach towel and quickly dried him off. Doc seated himself in the wheelchair.

  Doc rolled up the long ramp and to the
gate. Marilyn walked beside him. They waved and nodded to several members and guests on the way to the remote gate.

  While they waited for the gate to open, Marilyn asked, “What did you expect when you saw me standing there after having a three-way kiss with those two women?”

  “I thought to myself: If I get my ass busted, this is one time it’s worth it just to be able to tell the story the rest of my days,” Doc replied.

  “I’m sure your version will be better than actually being there,” Marilyn responded.

  “If it’s true, it’s ain’t braggin’,” Doc said followed by a hearty laugh.

  5. Sunday Morning Coming Down

  Doc and Marilyn were awakened by the obnoxious sound of a ringer for a 1950s era telephone. For nostalgia’s sake, the ringtone was readily available on most smart phones including the Apple models.

  “What’s that?” Marilyn asked without opening her eyes.

  “It’s Waver calling my phone,” Doc said with a sleepy tone.

  “Let it ring,” Marilyn suggested.

  “She’ll call every five minutes for the next hour,” Doc predicted.

  “What time is it?” Marilyn asked.

  “Time for me to crawl my naked ass out of this bed and talk to Waver,” Doc responded.

  “Hello Waver!” Doc said in a cheerful tone.

  “Did I wake you up?” Waver asked.

  “Of course not, we’ve been up since 6:00 am feeding the chickens and slopping the hogs,” Doc said sarcastically.

  “Your Uncle Donald never overcame being a Tennessee redneck. Who else would have chickens and hogs in Tampa, Florida?” Waver asked with incredulity.

  “We’ve decided to give them to a couple from Georgia we met yesterday,” Doc continued.

  “What do they do?” Waver asked.

  “As little as they can,” Doc replied.

  “That explains why they need chickens and hogs,” Waver remarked.

  “What’s got you buzzing so early?” Doc asked.

  “Your brother brought his little prissy girlfriend over and took me to breakfast at Cracker Barrel,” she reported.

  “What’s the occasion?” Dr. Michaels asked.

  “They told me they were getting married,” Waver exclaimed.

  “That’s wonderful news!” Doc said excitedly.

  “Well they’ve been fornicating for three years in that townhome of his. There’ll be nothing new but the license!” Waver exclaimed.

  “Waver you are just mean spirited. Your redneck is showing,”

  “My redneck is showing but at every Vikings football game Amber’s ass is showing,”

  “Mother, she is a professional cheerleader and Roger is the team physician,” Doc responded.

  “Every time she kicks up her heels on the television you can see the outline of the mouse’s ear,” Waver said sarcastically.

  “Waver, you should be more considerate. Amber will be your daughter-in-law someday,” Doc scolded.

  “She needs to put on some clothes! Your father didn’t see that much skin until our wedding night. She acts like she’s in a hoochie-coochie show,” Waver said in a raised voice.

  “Waver, you need to calm down. This conversation is not helping your blood pressure. You’ll have a stroke and die,” Doc instructed.

  “Well, if I do, make sure that strumpet wears some real clothes to my funeral,” Waver said.

  “I love you, Mom. I hear the dogs barking. Tell the preacher to pray for you.” Doc said as he ended the call.

  “What’s got her so wound up this early on Sunday?” Marilyn asked.

  “Roger and Amber took Waver to Cracker Barrel and announced their engagement,” Doc reported.

  “We should have looked to the north for a mushroom cloud,” Marilyn remarked.

  “She was livid. She went full Tennessee redneck,” Doc said.

  “Well, she lived in east Tennessee, and you and your brother got admitted to schools in Minnesota,” Marilyn replied.

  “Over the years, we’ve tried to fade our rednecks, but Waver wears hers like a red badge of courage,” Doc said with exasperation.

  “Roger has been more successful than you,” she responded.

  Doc’s phone rang again. This time the ringtone played “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones.

  Recognizing that as Roger’s ringtone, Marilyn remarked, “Now you can hear the rest of the story.”

  “Congratulations, Roger. I’m very happy for you and Amber,” Doc announced.

  “Thanks, brother,” Roger responded.

  “I got the redneck version from Waver. I’m ready to get the rest of the story from you,” Doc said.

  “Waver acted very southern and quite hypocritical. She was so sweet that sugar wouldn’t melt in her mouth,” Roger reported.

  “She’d been sucking on the hot sauce by the time she got to us,” Doc replied.

  “I really need to talk seriously to you about things,” Doc’s brother said.

  “Say on,” Doc replied.

  “We’ve decided to avoid the big wedding and the Waver controversy that will inevitably happen. We’re getting married in Maui and honeymooning there for a couple weeks before returning to Minneapolis,” Roger said.

  “I think that’s great,” Doc said excitedly.

  “You may not think it so great since Waver will be down there with you for two weeks,” Roger said.

  The conversation stalled with almost a minute of dead silence. Doc replayed in his mind what had just been said to make sure he heard his brother correctly.

  “She can’t come here. This is a nudist place and it’s edgy, too!” Doc exclaimed.

  “I can’t help it if you decided to live in Uncle Donald’s house there in Sodom,” Roger said.

  “Actually, it’s more like Gomorrah, but that’s beside the point,” Doc responded.

  “The bottom line is that you have to watch Mom for a couple weeks. You’re resourceful. You’ll figure something out. I’ll call back in a few days and give you all the details,” his brother explained.

  “This is going to be a train wreck,” Doc exclaimed.

  “Grab the throttle and drive on, Casey Jones,” Roger said as he terminated the call.

  “What’s Roger’s story?” Marilyn inquired.

  “He’s eloping with Amber to get married in Maui and taking a two-week honeymoon,” Doc reported.

  “That is so romantic. It’s just wonderful!” Marilyn exclaimed.

  “It is definitely romantic but far from wonderful,” Doc replied.

  “Why would you say that?” Marilyn asked.

  “He’s sending Waver here for the two weeks,” Doc said.

  “Oh fuck!” Marilyn exclaimed.

  “Fuck me!” Doc responded.

  “What’s she gonna say when she finds out that this is a clothing optional resort?” Marilyn asked with shock.

  “David, you and Marilyn might as well call Hell and make a reservation. Don’t waste time. Talk to the Devil directly,” Doc said in a voice mimicking Waver’s.

  “I need a mimosa, Marilyn exclaimed. Let’s get ready and go to Café Ole for Sunday Brunch,” she suggested.

  Doc didn’t respond to her comment. He just kept looking at the floor.

  “Are you all right, David?” she asked.

  “Now I understand the real meaning of Johnny Cash’s song, ‘Sunday Morning Coming Down’,” Doc said somewhat philosophically.

  “What is it?” Marilyn asked with a puzzled look.

  Doc replied rather rhythmically:

  “On a Sunday morning sidewalk

  I’m wishin’ Lord that I was stoned.”

  “Get ready, Johnny, help is nearby,” Marilyn replied.

  * * *

  Doc opted for a fashion trend he’s just noticed at Caliente. Men would wear a floral-patterned button up oversized shirt, shoes and socks, but no shorts. Doc was told it was called “shirt cocking.”

  “What are you wearing?” Marilyn yelled from the b
edroom as she decided on an outfit.

  “I’m shirt cocking,” Doc yelled back.

  “I don’t know what that is but I’m supportive,” Marilyn said.

  In about half an hour, Marilyn emerged from the master bedroom wearing a copper toned beaded skirt, a pair of matching striped wedge style shoes, and matching jewelry. Her makeup and hair were perfect.

  The beaded mini skirt had several strands of miniature beads that surrounded her from her waist to the top third of her thighs. The strands dropped down about 14 inches from her waist toward her knees.

  “What do you think?” Marilyn asked.

  “A large percentage of the guys at the clubhouse will be interested in what’s behind the curtain rather than Monty Hall’s cash,” Doc replied.

  “That’s the effect I was hoping for, but Caliente is a cashless resort. Everything goes on your house account,” Marilyn said as she walked to the door with the beaded strands swaying.

  “What about the girls?” Doc asked referring to her breasts.

  “Charlotte, the lady at the boutique, said that we don’t cover up perfection at Caliente,” Marilyn replied.

  * * *

  The pair decided to take the walking path for the short distance from the house to the restaurant. It was a warm 75 degrees and sunny in the early part of February in Tampa.

  “How are you doing in that beaded skirt?” Doc asked.

  “My sexy almost bare bottom is catching a breeze,” she replied.

  “I’ve got to look away. I’m starting to get a little motion sick,” Doc responded.

  In only a few minutes, the couple arrived at Café Ole. They were quickly seated at one of the white tablecloth-covered tables. Apparently, the restaurant was Café Ole for breakfast and Las Palmas for lunch and dinner.

  The server arrived at the table and Doc said, “Two mimosas, please.”

  “David, you don’t drink. Why did your order two drinks with champagne and orange juice?” Marilyn asked.

  “The orange juice is in memory of Uncle Donald and the champagne is to celebrate Waver’s visit,” Doc replied sarcastically.

  “You better plan on a screwdriver and go to vodka and orange juice the day she arrives,” Marilyn retorted.

  “No shit,” Doc said.

  * * *

  After the couple had finished their brunch, they decided to take a lounge seat at an upper deck palapa. The umbrella shaped thatch roof provided ample shade for the pale skinned Doc while permitting Marilyn to sunbathe intermittently.